In my opinion: No. No. And……..No!
Most of us can agree that cheating is wrong. Simply, WRONG! There is no good reason as to why someone would cheat – not even, being cheated on themselves.
It is bad for your health, finances, and family, but above all, your morality.
Most couples on their wedding day, take vows that include a clause centered around fidelity and faithfulness.
Only twice have I witnessed a ceremony devoid of such clause, with the man assuring his betrothed beforehand that he will NOT be monogamous. The kind of thing you would see on a TV show about super rich businessmen or athletes trying to protect their “assets” from the women in their lives, whom they find untrustworthy and rapacious. Why they would still agree to marry them, is anyone’s guess!
For the most part, the average married couple take these vows before God and a room full of people who, in actuality, just came for the drinks and the party.
Nonetheless, it is a commitment that should be taken seriously. But people cheat anyway. It’s unfortunate. It’s sad and quite ridiculous. There are thousands of books and studies out there by psychologists who seem to always know why people cheat, providing deficient solutions for repairing a relationship where such indiscretion has occurred.
What many people fail to realize is that once cheating happens, the relationship is over. Now, I do understand that many people have “stuck it out” and “forgive to forget”, but the bond will never be the same.
Trust is lost and faith is weakened.
If you do muster up the patience and forgiveness to stay with a partner that has cheated, you spend the remainder of the relationship chasing after the “good times” and questioning EVERYTHING.
But what happens in cases where the cheater decides to leave his or her current relationship for the affair?
It is not as uncommon as we think. It happens at alarming rates, more so now, than ever before. There is a battle of sorts that tends to compromise our morality.
Scandal, one of the most popular shows on television, features the main character, Washington “fixer” Olivia Pope, engaged in a torrid affair with the married President of the United States.
Decades ago, affairs caused controversy particularly, if they were not immediately quelled. But it is a much different society today. We are somewhat encouraged to root for the forbidden couple.
On Scandal, the First Lady (wife of the President) is depicted as a mean, power-hungry, controlling woman who criticizes and rebukes her husband to no end. While I do find Scandal in all its Washingtonian-madness superbly entertaining, I cannot help but wonder if the First Lady’s disagreeable attitude has something to do with the fact that she knows her husband loves another.
She is painted as the big bad wolf, while Miss Pope traipses around as the beautiful damsel-in-distress. This plays on our scruples as viewers. We know that cheating is wrong, but the depiction of the First Lady allows us to justify the affair.
A much greater question to ponder is if these affairs can stand the test of time. Can an affair truly blossom into a great relationship?
I am a firm believer that things should be built on solid ground. For a relationship to grow from cheating, defies that theory, and to my estimation, cannot and probably will not last.
Let’s think about the foundation or basis of a cheating relationship.
Firstly, you start off by sneaking around, which means that either he or she does not think highly enough of you to claim you or “show” you off to the people they care the most about.
Secondly, you are helping that person ruin their current relationship.
Thirdly, you are not a priority. If he/she “must leave” you to go back to his/her spouse, you really do not matter.
Fourthly, if they have to get their “affairs” in order (no pun intended), before he/she can leave their spouses, to protect assets, money, custody, etc., their spouses still rank higher on the ladder in their lives than you do.
Lastly, if he/she actually manages to leave their spouse, children, and family for you, do not be so quick to count that as a blessing.
Your “relationship” begun on a lie and therefore, continues to be a lie.
It is important to consider that you can lose the person the same way you got them. It is arrogant to think that they could not cheat on you the way they did their spouses.
On Scandal, Olivia and the President’s most intimate moments find them discussing and planning a future life together. They dream of living in a house in Vermont (that he actually built for her), making jam, with a couple of kids running around.
But how real is that?
What about his wife? Even though she can be intense and high-strung at times, she loves her husband. Does that not count for something?
The majority of affairs are founded on physical attraction and forbidden passion.
But there WILL come a time, when the fire burns out.
It is important to build relationships on something more than just physical desire. Trust, honesty, faith, and love are the ideal characteristics for a successful relationship, none of which you can find in an affair.
Do you think it is possible for cheating relationships to last or was the romance over before it even started?
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