My 8 Golden Globe surprises

The Golden Globes usher in my favorite time of year: Awards Season.
I live for the fashion, the pomp, the circumstance, and the annual re-discovery of what’s great in television and cinema.

I have been watching award shows religiously now, for over a decade or so, and while the Golden Globes are an awards season staple for me, there were some surprising things I observed from last night’s ceremony – that I probably should have noticed before, given that I am a self-proclaimed awards show enthusiast.

Between the plethora of unmemorable speeches and awkward delays (courtesy of NBC’s production team), it gave me the opportunity to see things that I never before paid attention to.

Here we go:

1. Tight…….really tight tables
I always knew the proximity from one table to another was pretty close, but it was nothing like yesterday. I mean, the slimmest, tiniest celebs had trouble navigating through tables to get up on that stage and receive their awards.
http://gph.is/1ZfgKPr

Personally, I would just have them throw my Globe to me from the stage, then give a speech from my table, probably sitting down.

2. Lots of alcohol, very little food
Need I say more? This could explain the behaviors of some of the presenters. I understand that these celebs are watching their figure, but what is a rice cake or two to sap up the Moscato!
http://gph.is/1ibRm76

3. The trains are too long
I love a train on a dress, but I think some of our favorite Ladies of Hollywood should save the extra material for their weddings…..the second or third time around.
Just kidding!

4. Speeches were terrible
Besides, the noteworthy speech from the incomparable Leonardo DiCaprio, winners delivered lackluster discourse. Few actors like Mr. DiCaprio can give a great “thank you” that leaves you speechless. Most who are not particularly gifted in this arena, should consider hiring a speech writer. Not a bad idea, eh?

5. Nominees from different movies but in the same category were seated at the same table
Did you get all of that? Perhaps, this is a practice the GGs have always done, but I really took notice last night and found it a little strange.
http://gph.is/1iH6mg2

I always thought that they sat the nominees from the same movie on the same table with their guests.
Example: Best Actor nominee for Silver Gate (not a real movie, I hope) sat with his guest, Best Supporting Actress nominee for Silver Gate sat with her guest, Best Director for Silver Gate sat with his/her guest, etc.
And whatever seats were available, would be filled by presenters and……..seat fillers (those people they hire to sit in empty seats, so the room looks full)

That was not the case last night – winners and losers were all mixed in.

Hey, I guess they presume that even if there are hard feelings, no one is likely to throw a punch wearing a tux or a gown.

6. The crowd is way too noisy
So I get that many of the actors are friends and these award shows are the only time they get to really see each other, but they need to understand that once the commercial breaks are over, and the show is back, they should settle down.
Or as Will Farrell put it, they need to “shush”. Haha!
http://gph.is/1UCk9GM

7. Our dear actors cannot tell left from right
It’s amazing how many actors go up to receive their award and after concluding their acceptance, they never know if they should go left or right. One actor after the other, came up and made the same foozle. But I suppose their nerves got the best of them, so I’ll cut them some slack.

They should, however, commit this to memory: stage left for the audience, stage right for me, stage left for audience, stage right for me, stage left for audience, stage right for me……….

8. The “play off” music is the worst
Once again, this falls on the production team.

http://gph.is/18iFyyQ

Two things must change:
1. The type of music. It’s like someone took a wonderful classical piece, infused some pop undertones, and threw in a dash of elevator, for kicks. Horrendous!

2. They cue the music too loud and too fast which distracts the award recipient, making for a mumbling and fumbling moment that will live on FOREVER, especially when he forgets to thank his wife. Yikes!

So here is my list of all the things I saw whilst I should have been paying attention to the winners and the fashion. I hold production completely responsible for my distraction. Ha!

Now, on to the Oscars……..
http://gph.is/1SRYafT

-The Reporter

What were your favorite moments of the night?

Image Source Credit: independent.co.uk; giphy

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